I never thought that I would want a large house. I always figured that it was just more house to clean and that I would much rather spend our money in other ways. As Brent gets closer and closer to graduating and finding a job, and as I begin picturing what life will look like when we are "settled," I am looking forward to having our own home big enough to welcome all our family and all our friends for special gatherings. I was thinking about that as I went to sleep on Saturday night, and I was reminded about a scripture that I had read and had really been hit by this summer when I read the book of Deuteronomy - and then Aaron referenced it in his sermon at church the next morning! It says this:
"When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you... Otherwise when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt." -Deuteronomy 8: 10, 12
Then today Brent came home and told me that he is applying for his first job - like a real job with an actual company for an actual marine engineering position - tomorrow morning. My last thoughts before I went to sleep, Aaron's sermon, Brent's announcement... it's all made me nervous and excited at the same time. God is leading us somewhere. I don't know where. I don't know when. But I feel change. Good change. Needed change. The hours at KIPP are endlessly long, and it's frustrating that as much as I love my students and my subject area, that I feel locked in because it is financially the most stable option for us. I am tired, and I desperately miss the 8:00 - 3:00 schedule with students and having the ability to take off work when I need to. I know I worked long hours at my prior school - as many hours as I do now even - but my instructional time was less and it was never a problem to get a substitute teacher when I needed to take a personal day or was sick. What keeps me going is my love for my students, feeling that I am making a difference now in the lives of my students, and the hope that this work hour situation is only temporary. But I pray that we don't forget God when those better days come and that we will continue to recognize Him and praise Him for meeting our needs.
Until then... just four more days until Brent and I take a mini-vacation off the island to hill country, three more weeks until Thanksgiving, and eight more weeks until Christmas!
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